A Tale of Hope, Loss, and Divine Timing: Part 2

by daughter Jennifer Siuda

“So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, The crawling locust, The consuming locust, And the chewing locust, My great army which I sent among you.” (Joel 2:25)

A year later, healthy and whole, I became pregnant again. This time, I was excited. I knew that it was coming, I knew the Lord would fulfill His word. As I made preparations and appointments, the pregnancy, along with all the hallmark signs and symptoms, progressed. Nine weeks later, I had my first ultrasound appointment. I knew from the ultrasound tech’s definitively stoic demeanor that something was wrong. She fetched the doctor to come in and have a look. He apologetically explained to me that there was no heartbeat, but my body just hadn’t gotten the memo yet. I was going to need a surgical procedure to clear things out. Preparations and appointments were made again. After the procedure, I went home and got in the shower. I just needed to wash the hospital, the disinfectants, and all the sticky mess off me. It was in that shower that I both broke and experienced breakthrough.

“God, now I want this baby. God, now I want your way. But I don’t understand why you would promise this and then take it away. I recognize that you see more than I do, Your ways are higher, Your ways are greater. You are God and I am not. So, I still choose You. I still choose to worship You, even though I don’t understand, even though this hurts more than I can bear. Still, I will worship You.”

Six months later—pregnant again. No excitement this time, just a tempered wait-and-see. The first trimester came and went. The first ultrasound looked good. The second ultrasound, fine. The referral to specialists for high-risk pregnancy, that went fine too. At the 20-week mark, I finally began to breathe, finally began to hope.

My due date came and went. My doctor wanted to induce me; I really wanted a natural delivery. I went in for some routine monitoring and was sent home, once again needing to shower to remove the goo. I was putting on some lotion over that promise on the inside of my left wrist and stopped. The date that day, as I had just written on all those hospital papers, was February 23. I ran my fingers over the words Joel 2:25… you don’t suppose…

Sure enough, on the morning of February 25 at exactly 2:25 a.m., I was woken up out of my sleep with a very strong contraction. I got to the hospital, and there was no room in the inn! I was placed in a small exam room as they explained that the entire maternity ward was full, but they were hoping for a discharge so they could get a delivery room ready before I delivered. A few hours later, as I was starting to think that baby Joel would be born in that tiny room on that tiny table, the nurse came in to tell me they had a room and we were moving, just in time to start the delivery. I will never forget the feeling when we rounded the corner to see the room they had prepared: Room 225!

This child, Joel, prophesied and cherished, is a living embodiment of the promise that in the fullness of time all things will be restored, according to His riches in glory; shaken down, pressed together, and running over!

Prayer

I have no words to describe your goodness, grace, and love for us. All I have is, “Thank You, Father!” You are our answer to prayer every day. You are a continual harvest of sweet provision, provider of bright opportunities, and fulfillment of a better life than we have ever known.